Sheeba's Old View from the Window

Scryptkeeper has Moved!

2007-07-05T22:25:00.000-04:00

New Address!
New Look!
New Content on the Reg'la!
(finally)

Please change your feed address, URLs, links, targets, blogrolls and all that good stuff.

http://scryptkeeper.blogspot.com

Oh My Love, Keep You Close (ie, more CCx Pics!)

2006-10-17T16:25:00.000-04:00

By far the grandest photo of the weekend. Many thanks to Mignonette Johnson for taking this lovely pic. Ah the family, ah the love, ah the people ahhhh ahhh ahhh ....

CC Faculty Afaa Weaver & Prize Winner Major Jackson

afaamajor
Originally uploaded by sistafire.

Oh, what a night ...

Tracey Smith, Major Jackson, Constance Bridges, Kyle Dargan, Lyrae Van Clief Stephanon, Amber Flora Thomas & Dawn Lundy Martin ... now THAT'S a crew. Now that's American Poetry.

Ahhh .... yeah ....

And last, but SHO not least, the incomparable GROUP D (damn!!!): Hallie Hobson, Dwayne Betts, Remica Bingham, Abe Henderson, Lita Hooper, me-maself, and Dante Micheaux. Yes, les grandes dames. And now you know ... awwww yeah!

More fabulous Cave Canem Pics

2006-10-17T16:07:00.000-04:00

Oh, what a night ...

CC10th Great Day in Manhattan

2006-10-17T16:00:00.000-04:00

CC10th Great Day in Manhattan.1
Originally uploaded by sistafire.

Thanks to Mignonette Johnson for this AMAZING photo. Now this is the creme de la creme of the photos from the weekend. All us peeps in Union Square ... yes. union. that's what it is ...

mad love.

Me & Kylar -- NBJC Board Retreat

2006-10-17T15:59:00.000-04:00

sab and kylar -- nbjc board retreat
Originally uploaded by sistafire.

Because my life is personnified by the random interruption, I'll interrupt this love fest of Cave Canem with the love fest of last weekend ... here is me and Kylar Broaddus, my co-board-member of the National Black Justice Coalition having a moment of love at our semi-annual Board Retreat and Strategic Planning meeting.

Not a member of the National Black Justice Coalition? Get with the program. Get engaged. Get active.

www.nbjc.org

Cave Canem Prizewinners Reading

2006-10-17T15:57:00.000-04:00

prizewinners 2
Originally uploaded by sistafire.

Tracey Smith, Major Jackson, Constance Bridges, Kyle Dargan, Lyrae Van Clief Stephanon, Amber Flora Thomas & Dawn Lundy Martin ... now THAT'S a crew. Now that's American Poetry.

Ahhh .... yeah ....

Group D (Damn!)

2006-10-17T15:56:00.000-04:00

Group D (Damn!)
Originally uploaded by sistafire.

Hallie Hobson, Dwayne Betts, Remica Bingham, Abraham Henderson, Lita Hooper, Samiya Bashir & Dante Micheaux ... the grand Group D (Damn!) of Cave Canem 2006 ... ah ... what love. what family. what joy. what fierceness!

CC Faculty Afaa Weaver & Prize Winner Major Jackson

2006-10-17T15:55:00.000-04:00

afaamajor
Originally uploaded by sistafire.

Oh, what a night!

Looking for Me?

2006-08-10T00:35:00.000-04:00

Hey all,

I may not have mentioned it, but for irony's sake, I'm at a new address. This blog, Sheeba's View, is now closed. Sheeba passed away in May. We don't talk about it right now.

So ... now Samiya (uh, me) has taken over the blogging and the new blog, ScryptKeeper, can be found at the following address: http://www.sheebasview.blogspot.com/.

I know it's ass-backwards ... blame Blogger. :-)

See ya there!

Imagine the cat wrote the blog

2006-05-11T22:01:00.000-04:00

Imagine that the cat's name is Sheeba. She sits in the window all day. She has more time, so she does the blogging.

Imagine.

Now, I'll dip in and dip out.

Dip in with me. Dip out with me.

Whatchu got to say? Lemme know.
Let us know.

Send me a note to join the mailing list.

Hit the XML button.
(Feed me, RSS.)

So ... the cat used to talk a lot up in here. Backintheday.
Now, today, hereintheday, you and me will get to talking a li'l bit.

'Sup?

Election Predictions!

2005-01-29T22:45:00.000-05:00

Notes on this blog: (1) I am prone to rampant and ill-advised neologism (2) There are a lot of links. Holding shift when pressing a link will open the link in a new browser, allowing you to maintain continuity on this blog (3) All apparent grammatical errors are actually in place for comedic effect.

The candidates (all 7,000) have finished up their campaigning (mostly ducking), the electorate have thoughtfully weighed their options (they've had nearly 72 hours), the voting booths are open (if you have the password). Let's have us an ol' fashioned free and fair election! Iraqis across Iraq are ready to vote for their next President! No? Prime Minister! No? Umm.... Commander-in-chief? They don't have one of those yet? Alright.... Senators? Close enough! Turns out, Iraqis don't need to know the names of those stupid candidates anyway because they get to vote for political parties (just 109) instead! The parties that get at least one 275th of the popular vote will get to appoint their candidates, in proportion to the votes the party received, to the 275-member Transitional National Assembly, and then those guys, should they make it to the first session once their names are known, will get around to selecting prime ministers and presidents and what have you.

So, as of this sentence, it is 11:33pm in Washington, which means it's 7:33am in Baghdad, which means..... HAPPY FIRST ELECTION , IRAQ! In keeping with the air of general merriment that must be lightening the steps of Sunnis and Shiites alike, I'd like to make a few lighthearted predictions:

Of the 14 million or so Iraqis eligible to vote, all 14 million will make it to the booths today. What's that you say? 1 million Iraqis have signed against the election, swearing not to take part? Fine. 13 million.
All the insurgents were just blowing smoke, and don't really intend to disrupt the elections. So, no violence today in Iraq. Oops! OK, starting now. Uh oh! OK, now.
Women will be elected to exactly one-third of the seats. Alright, so it's impossible for that not to happen (read "Who is running"). This one's a shoe-in. Also, all of my predictions are shoe-ins.
The White House definitely won't downplay the importance of the election after its spectacular failure. Also, there's no way in hell they'll say that high voter turnout is not necessary for a democratic election, citing America's low turnout as an example, because they'll have already realized the obvious counterpoint: that American's choosing not to vote don't do so out of fear of being publicly deheadified.
The elections in Ramadi, the city sometimes citied as the litmus test for success, sometimes as the fulcrum of doom, will go off with cog-like regularity and precision. Also, even though every single police officer in Ramadi quit (search for "walkout") a couple days back, they'll have a change of heart and escort elderly ladies to the booths en masse.
The plan to apply permanent blue ink to the fingers of every voter (to prevent revoting and mark them for deheadifying) will turn out not to be the most recklessly fucking idiotic idea in the history of the world.

So there you have it folks. Iraq is the newest member of the West, with its very own shiny new liberal democracy. It's been a long, bomb-laden road, but I think most Iraqis will look back and see the past two years as necessary for their newfound bliss. I certainly feel that way with my feet up in the basement of my townhouse in Shiny, oops I mean Sterling, Virginia. Would I vote today in Iraq if I could, you ask? Fuck no.

Hi Sheeba.

Kenan is a Fool ...

2005-01-28T01:15:00.000-05:00

and as such, he is welcome.

Now, some of you may wonder why I have offered space on this blog to this oftentimes annoyingly erudite young ailurophobe -- dont try to front, man (heh, heh; heh.) -- I'll tell you this: Nothing sets off the glossy light of my fur like a scruffy-faced young man with an agenda that's ... well ... pretty much a lot like mine. (lollipop anyone?)

Now ... don't listen to his mess about the metaphysical, Baudrillardian, metaphorical applications of this cat-owned-and-run progressive blog where I may or may not ruminate on the oft-Orwellian state of this nation, and, I'll say it, world. No, I'll ask you instead to, in reference to The Wiz, don't look behind the curtain kids. Look at the picture instead ... all that adept cultural analysis leaves you running around funny rooms with a white coat, an odd haircut, and not much to offer other than razor-sharp observations and an oversized lolly with which to desperately woo would-be friends.

Bottom line is: think not; want.
As Hibbert's (I mean, uh, Kenan's) friend Mr. Steward recently observed, "Fear is the new black."

Ah well ... I'd make some sort of smart-kitty'd comment about affirmative action here (it almost begs for a Tab A / Slot B insertion), but I think that if anything ... it just speaks directly to the National Republican Party's successful buying and selling of African Americans as a political tool (Condi Rice? Secretary of What? Really?)

Going to shake my head and get my nap on ... at about -1,000 degrees here in New York City, I'm needing a little bit more than my standard 18 hours ... plus, I'm anglin' for a little "outdoor cat" time. As such, I've gotta practice that look of absolute, paralyzing terror that seems to be the calling card and/or acceptable I.D. for any average American walking the streets these days. I'm all about ruling the roost. I, as the kids say, ain't neva skeered. Ah, fuhgettaboutit. Who'm I kiddin? I'll be back at the window tomorrah.

Back to you, Hibbert.

Of Razor Wit and Claw*

2005-01-27T23:06:00.000-05:00

I am surprised and honored by Sheeba's invitation to join her blog, as well as humbly aware of the deep diplomatic potential this has for feline-human relations. With that in mind, and before I outline my vision for this partnership, I must make one thing abundantly clear:

I am not an ailurophobe.

There have been slanderous rumors, unsubstantiated allegations, and perhaps even a little documented evidence that I have, on atypical occasion, been less than respectful to the feline class. I wish to publicly and categorically refute all such attacks as mere partisan exercises designed to undermine what will no doubt be a union of ice-crushing impact.

Far from a cat-hater, I have long admired Sheeba's expert and impassioned analysis. I have noted our shared contempt for Red States and, oh i dunno... genocide, as well as our appreciation for Mr. Obama and Jon Stewart. I treasure what Sheeba and I hold in common. She recognizes as I do the importance of 18 solid hours of sleep a day. We both understand the beauty of the liberal political tradition, that government often creates and many problems as it solves where it sacrifices liberty to acheive its ends. We each enjoy sushi and thoroughly vindicated superiority complexes.

I have of course also appreciated that Sheeba's "View from the Window" is obviously a post-modern metaphor for our collective disconnection with the real - that the window represents the various screens (television, storefront, monitor, windshield...) through which we live. I have marvelled at the elegant lucidity that the windowed view metaphor brings to the contemporary human condition: that the world is before us, largely unreachable yet utterly visible, within our ken but not our grasp, and of course that our worldview is invariably distorted by our own reflection. I have spent many a Sunday afternoon pondering some of the metaphor's more salient first-line implications; for example, that the whole "ken but not our grasp" thing dovetails nicely with the possibility that technology (the window) has perverted us into a society of extreme access with paradoxically less interaction, and that of course this is a reason why all forms of modern activity are in danger of devolving into advertisement; that is, to quote Baudrillard (he also clearly borrowing heavily from this metaphor) the pattern of a "simplified operational mode, vaguely seductive, vaguely consensual" - we view, covet, reach, fail, and in defense make ourselves coveted yet unreachable. Truly I am quite taken aback by the sheer genius and expansiveness of this grand metaphor, and have spent many nights bathing in its corollary ripples.

I am confident that Sheeba's View and NumenLumen (latin, as it is, for new light) will coruscate in their cooperation. I am also pretty sure I could add the new light aspect to the windowed metaphor with stunning eloquence and profundity, but I've been up since noon and it's way past my bedtime.

* As far the asterisked title, I don't want to imply that I am the wit and Sheeba the claw. Sheeba has wit and claw; I, only wit. Still, it's catchy.

It's the Bunny Boilers!

2005-01-27T19:02:00.000-05:00

Ay Carumba.

Does anyone else around here smell a little deflection going on?

Here we are, smack dab in the middle of the Bush Administration scandal-du-jour, regarding Armstrong Williams and the gross misappropriation of public taxpayer funds to pay a propogandistic shill-meister (a/k/a conservative hack Williams) to promote the death-blow to schools program No Child Left Behind. Now, slipping around the story like olive oil in a teflon pan, in slides Bush Education Secretary, Margaret Spellings, spinning Ed.Dep. attention like a well worn with a bunny boiling episode that would make Glenn Close proud.

(photo credits: WGBH/Cookie Jar Entertainment)

QUICK! Look away from this well-paid black man shilling for our ridiculously disastrous education program! Don't you see that your hard-earned tax payer dollars are paying a cartoon bunny to visit legally sanctioned lesbian-led families in Vermont! And their children!

Lady, please.

Now, I may just be a cat freezing my fur off in sub-zero Manhattan, and I may have my own issues with this Buster character (really, sell-out, what's up with the clothes?! Revel in your fur! It's beautiful! It's natural (which is more than I can say about that tacky poly-blend suit you're sportin')!) but this goes beyond non-human species dramas.

The mess is that people are really buying this shit! PBS has effectively pulled the episode, with apologies! Follow the original link and you'll see that the New York Times (and all the evening news shows) are focusing on this. I find it equally interesting that no one sees the connection between these two. If there's anything we've learned by now it's that this administration has mastered spin so thoroughly that it generally leaves the witless, "opposition" (aka, Dems) dizzy. And, yes, we know that the media has all but "Armstronged" themselves to the wagon train like stars of a Kevin Costner period flick.

Now, I get some of my personal jollies out of ensuring that The Feeder can never have the ridiculouly human enjoyment of a leather sofa. But there are days when even that is not enough. This, dear readers, is one of those days. If the entire U.S. media can really be so easily swayed from soft-ball reporting of a major (and, uh, illegal, impeachable?) propoganda scandal to cover this lesbo-witchhunt on a simple cartoon bunny show (and let's not even mention the message they're sending to the millions of children living in families headed by lesbian, gay, bi, trans parents -- too tragic) then honestly ... it just might be time for an ol' binge and purge.

I'm clearly fed up ... toilet, anyone?

It Is a Very Good Year

2005-01-26T20:18:00.000-05:00

All right, all right. I'm out of the blog game folks. If you haven't noticed ... I'M NOT BLOGGING!

As some of you may know, I had to take some time off this summer in order to figure out where I stood here in this blogosphere. It was clear that I had run up against a glass ceiling of sorts. There is a definite discrimination going on in the larger blogosphere against those of us bloggers who lack an opposable thumb.

This, folks, is serious. It crosses genders, it crosses races, it crosses species.

At first I was simply heartbroken. Then there was the whole election debacle to take me away (and not in that lovely Calgon way). I had the feeder's birthday to deal with ... then she got all smoochy smoochy with some hottie and couldn't be bothered to address my needs.

Damn. It's tough to be a cat in this Gonzalez-esque torture laden world, I tell ya.

So, here's the deal. I may, or may not, drop in every now and again to add my most-important voice to this damned blogosphere.

I have constituencies to protect and promote. Lordy knows we can't trust the U.S. Gubbmint to do any damn good.

I have fantastic radio shows (Go Laura Flanders!) to insure that everyone listens to. I have books, that I read over the Feeder's shoulder, to discuss.

A chick's got things to do, is the basic thing.

But I have yet to see that y'all are worthy. In any way shape or form.

So ... there it is.

Now, my riveted public. What do you say?

Don't Stop Till You Get Enough!

2004-08-03T19:47:00.000-04:00

RollingStone.com

Da Mizzap

2004-08-03T19:43:00.000-04:00

Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004

The breakdown ... red & blue ...

Hm. Now, as a Tabby, the current species-based segregation barred me from the US public school system. Still, I've read plenty of civics & U.S./European history books. It seems this red vs. blue thing has been going on far too long.

Let's shift this a bit. Perhaps ... orange vs. purple? Green vs. Gold? Foot vs. Ass? (oh yeah. we've already got that one)

I'm Sheeba Baby, and I will be a commander in fur who will NEVER mislead us into war!

Flipping the Script (part deux)

2004-08-03T19:40:00.000-04:00

Yes ... we've already flipped 5 out of 8 states from red to blue.

Let's keep 'em comin!

Bring on Arkansas, Nevada & Ohio!
Join your brethren/sistren in Florida, Missouri, New Hampshire (by 8.9pts!), Tennessee & West Virginia & let's kick some elephant ass!

Eh, hem.

My name is Sheeba and I approved this message while choking down a particularly fuzzy hairball.

... but is Kerry the answer?

2004-08-03T19:36:00.000-04:00

This is another interesting Brit perspective ...

... but is Kerry the answer? - [Sunday Herald]:

"Al-Qaeda sees Bush as its best bet for a continuing jihad and would only launch another terrorist atrocity in the US this year if the president looked like losing the election. By rallying Americans around the flag, George W Bush might be bombed back into office, but that is not an outcome for which anyone in 10 Downing Street will be praying. "

MY QUESTION: If we blitz Bush, will they blitz Blair? (Sheeeit, at this point, I'd even trade.)

America -- The Child Abuse Capital of the World

2004-08-03T19:34:00.000-04:00

Yes. Let's keep on exporting our idea of freedom & democracy -- our coveted way of life!

Iraq's Child Prisoners - [Sunday Herald]

(hope is on the way?)

What's this guy's IQ?

2004-08-03T19:32:00.000-04:00

I'm a cat. My IQ is 135. I'm bored with stupidity passed off as superiority.

Bush ... are you listening?

James Hart for Congress Committee - Preserving Intellectual Capacity

(I swipe my claws at you)

Don't Ask, Don't Tell ...

2004-08-03T19:25:00.000-04:00

and for God's Sake Don't Get Knocked Up!!!
(how can we fry you little lady?)

The New York Times > National > U.S. Military Holds Hearing on Guard in Prison Abuse Photos

Everybody Sing!

2004-08-03T19:20:00.000-04:00

Whaaaat's Race got to do ... got to do with it?!
What's race ... but a backhanded reason to discriminaaaaaate ..

(hope is on the way?)

Obama -- the next truly great American president? Purrr....

2004-07-28T15:51:00.000-04:00

See, what'd I say. Now I'm no lover of Clinton, but his speech was good.

And then there was OBAMA. I've been reading about him as much as I can sneak into the feeder's laptop for news and views for the last couple of years. But having the chance to watch him live last night, and then again once I pawed the remote to rewind, and then three more times on MSN Video (check it out if you missed it) ... and yeah. I may leave the feeder here, move to Chicago (cuz I hate DC) and go work for this guy instead.

Yo Obama ... does your America have a space for a Tabby w/ an attitude?!

Yahoo! News - Text of Obama's Address at Convention

King Bill on the DNC Stump

2004-07-27T15:30:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I haven't been blogging ... but I'm thinking this DNC might have me reflecting ... hmm ... here's King Bill's home run:

(read it ... READ IT!!! (excuse me. hairball.)

The New York Times > Washington > Campaign 2004 > Text: Bill Clinton's Remarks to the Democratic National Convention

Can You Believe These Guys?!

2004-06-16T19:35:00.000-04:00

Boston.com / News / Nation / Washington / Bush backs Cheney on assertion linking Hussein, Al Qaeda

Feeder here.

Listen, I match this ridiculousness with the following story:

This afternoon, in NYC, at the corner of 42nd Street & 6th Ave (outside of Bryant Park, ahead of the Starbucks / Ben & Jerry's rotunda--never thought you'd hear that phrase? wake up babes.):

Old man, white guy, grey haired, skinny, wearing a sandwich board which says: FUCK BUSH, NOT MORE HELPLESS PRISONERS!

He's screaming his catchphrase (Fuck Bush! Fuck Bush!) and passing out leaflets with the above statement emblazoned on the front, and tons of info on the back.

Now this would ordinarily be enough to brighten my day. But it gets better.

It's mid-day on a Wednseday. Everyone is running around from lunch or to meetings, appointments etc. The street is filled with conservative, mid-town suits. I'm walking up to him, standing by him, and walking past him for all of about 5 minutes and everyone I see (EVERYONE I SEE) is smiling, laughing, happy to see him. Walking up to him and taking his leaflets and *thanking him* for them.

This is New York people. Folks don't (a) take leaflets, /OR/ (b) thank people for them.

The response was outstanding. Unbelievable. Exciting. Hope-inspiring.

Now ... take that Bush / Cheney!

LIIIIAAAARRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSS!

HIP HOP POLITICAL CONVENTION 2004

2004-06-16T19:01:00.001-04:00

HIP HOP CONVENTION 2004

We've known for some time that Hip Hop reaches across barriers and communities.

Check out this week's National Hip Hop Political Convention ... let's use every opportunity to get *everyone* involved in this process.

(It's life or death and I love my life baby!)

HIP HOP POLITICAL CONVENTION 2004

2004-06-16T19:01:00.000-04:00

Fear of a Black Student Body

2004-06-15T00:22:00.000-04:00

Since all my beloved freaks at the MP are going to sleep (sleep? sleep! that's what I do all day!) I'm makin' like a Republican and playing to my core constituency:

So ... more ridiculous news of the day dude:

Speaking of "dude" ... so you hear they're down to admitting like 1/2 of a black person into the freshman class of my Feeder's alma mater UC Berkeley?!

When she graduated it seemed she was probably the 5th last black person to do so there. However ... the poor bi-racial dude they let in for fall who is being forced to rep for the en-tire race sho'nuf has some hard times a'comin.

He's never gonna get a quorum at the black student union events. he's gonna have to rap for street cred like, all day dude, and serve on every damned diversity committee on campus! How he'll get any studying done is anyone's guess. Then, of course, his abyssimal grades will be the perfect excuse to go searching for the anachronistic "octaroon" to admit for 2005.

Sigh.

Pissing on her worthless degree now ...

Meow.

From the "Ay, Chingada!" Files

2004-06-15T00:09:00.000-04:00

NYTimes: Somali Is Accused of Planning a Terror Attack at a Shopping Center in Ohio

Makes me wanna choke "bbbbbullshit!

Now, I know Somalis (The Feeder is a half-breed like Cher), and like anyone on the planet they're capable of some nonsense. But the kid's brother (in very American Somali fashion) swears he hates Terrorism more than the Dubya (easy to do it seems, he's cornered the market on it), and really ... I doubt most Somali's running around Columbus (my family included) are interested in much more than cool cars, U.S. dollars, and that freakish idea of the "American Dream".

Now ... back to scrubbing the stains out of my Blue Dress ... (Dubya ... stop spewin!)

Why All My Favorites Are Women, by Sheeba Baby

2004-06-14T23:37:00.000-04:00

Okay ... so here's the list of women to listen to:

1. Laura Flanders. Pretty self explanatory. She's dope. She's coast to coast. Daytime on Working Assets Radio with Farai Chideya who would also be on this list but ... it'd be redundant now.

2. Randi Rhodes. Now, the top three here are all Air America, and The Feeder has her own input on why that is. Me? I don't care. Plus, I still can't work the remote control much, so it's what she leaves on for me to listen to all day. I gotta say, Randi is the highlight of my day. NOTE TO RANDI: IF I COULD CALL IN, I WOULD! This no opposable thumb thing sucks some times. But hey, I can lick my own ... (p.s. I'm in New York. I'll be your friend!)

This is from the Feeder: I got hooked on talk radio back in the 80s w/ NPR. I was in bed w/ my last boyfriend, the amazingly well endowed Trini-boy whose parents were *so* glad we were together ("Thank God s/he's dating someone black in this snowy village!") My dear ol' ma wanted to wed me off quick ... how quickly she'd become even more depressed that she'd failed.

Anyway ... A.M. Homes' first book, The Safety of Objects, still among my favorite books of all time, was being promo'd. They had her on giving a reading. I was wedded. I was hooked. I thought ... well, fuck my family. If she can do this, so can I! And here we are.

Unfortunately, NPR sucks Republican/Exxon/Mobile dick now. So,

3. Janeane Garofalo & Sam Seder on The Majority Report.

Submit to my willl. You know you want to listen.

DO. IT. NOW.

Talk Radio Queen Takes Town w/ New Tome!

2004-06-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

You know I love her. If you don't love her too yet, then you're trippin. Get off your ass and get down with the Get Down.

Laura Flanders has a new book out! (again?! yes. again! woo hoo!) The dissin' of Those Pesky Bush Women just don't stop kids. Really, how could it?

She's on point consistently. She's a drop dead cutie. She's smart as a whip (uh, yeah, this isn't in order of importance or anything. Heh.). She's streamable!

Now she's got a new book out. Check it: The W Effect: Bush's War on Women goes from her detailed critique of the women of Bushdom to the deliterious effect The Bushies policies have on them (Sorry Twins!) and everyone else.

You know the saying ... if women are fucked, the world is fucked. Or something like that. Get with the get down folks. The time is now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2004-06-14T23:12:00.000-04:00

So I'm feeling a little miffed by the seeming Tony-award-esque apathy (go Phylicia! go Audra! Go Other black girl! go Puppets!) of "those meddling kids" (a/k/a american youth) toward our political system today.

Of course, I could substitute just about anything into that sentence in place of "political system". Now, I'm only 10 years old (This November-ish), and I'm not even human, but dammit I'd vote if I could! Now perhaps it's because The Feeder's black and came of age during the whole Jesse Jackson for president, Ferraro for VP age of the icky-dickly 80s (we're not mentioning any names here. It's been done (see last week)), but this whole "If Kerry doesn't pull some saxophone playing Arsenio stunt it's all over for him" cry for style is getting to be a bit much.

Now I don't remember the '92 election, but The Feeder does. She was an idealistic UC Berkeley College student and yeah. She voted for him. She wanted to l-i-v-e. Same deal today kids ... New Bush, New Life-or-Death election. Sigh. My 9 lives are all being threatened here kids ... I'm counting on you to, uh, make it clap.

Now it's time for me to give a shout out to Lizzie ... my fornication-loving, voyeuristic sister in Brooklyn. Yes, it's true. Cats love to watch people get it on. We're spayed for heaven's sake. What else are we gonna do?! Lizzie ... go for yours.

2004-06-11T13:30:00.000-04:00

2004-06-11T13:16:00.000-04:00

Sheeba's Eulogy (in honor of those who somehow survived):

Conspire This!

2004-06-11T00:12:00.000-04:00

So ... the folks at The
Randi Rhodes Show Blog predicted ... on May 7th that Reagan would die before the election (yeah ... it was supposed to be an October Surprise, but hey ... the day the liberals get it together will be the day I lionize Reagan ... how's that for incentive? Kinda funny ... the oh, how we love him, oh how we're like him, oh how he was such a good guy that Gipper! (see the pinching cheeks) is falling right into place.

The good news: Kerry's poll points keep climbing. I honestly believe that MOST of the country (despite wherever the camera's are rolling) was sick of this story by Sunday. The Dubya's vote-for-me! site has been taken over by Reagan-ass-kissing. He seems even more gleefully ignorant of Nancy's straight-up-dis of him then he is of the 'we-love-torture' memo's Ass-crack is trying to hide from Congress. (BTW: Sidebar to Biden -- love ya. mean it. time to lay way off the Viagra, brah.)

Ah ... but for the love of conspiracy theories: GIVE THESE A GO!

Will the 2004 Election Be Called Off? Why Three Out of Four Experts Predict a Terrorist Attack by November - Maureen Farrell at BuzzFlash.com

Dubya Putsch

OOPS! Was that Dubya or was it .... all's I know is, it's feelin' a bit like 1923 and I got the same question now as I woulda had then: Where the hell can a cat get a nip o' the Gin in this here town?!

Neo-Cons on the Brink

Now. I don't know if by "Conspiracy Theory" you thought I meant somehow "false". I don't think I did.

Reagan: Farewell to Coverage. A future, remembered.

2004-06-10T23:43:00.000-04:00

(title stolen from Steven Colbert, The Daily Show)

So, as a 10-year-old tabby cat, I wasn't even born when Reagan was in office. You'd think that would keep me safe and sound. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I spent my first, formative weeks in The Pound. So listen ... I know all about livin' la vida welfare. Reagan? His dirty, bloody hands were all over my cage. Yes, even then. (No, he never remembered it.)

One who does not take alzheimer's lightly (family troubles ... personal issues ... the ol' Feeder's greatest fear lies somewhere scripted in the movie IRIS) ... I do tend to think that people's evil karma takes many forms. Reagan's ... well, he had his. Reagan's family? Doesn't the family always suffer the sins of the father? It's all a bit too typical to even comment upon.

However ... I'll attach the appropriate links as my own protest to: THE WEEK OF SUCKING REAGAN'S DEAD WHITE DICK ... (insert echo chamber sound f/x).

From what I hear ... everyone from Nicaragua to Botha's South Africa has a little ditty to add to that song. Here's The Feeder's during-his-lifetime input from the visage of 1980's Detroit Rock (i.e., Motor) City (with nods to the following: Michael Moore for keeping it real from Flint, Darlene @ NBC for bringing the cool cat crispies):

A THURSDAY NIGHT HAUNTING OF RONALD REAGAN’S DREAMS

Listen:

all i’ve ever known how to do is build things. spent the last 20 years of my life making cars for a living. spent the last 20 years of my life buying bread the day after it wuz baked, buying water which ran free in the river not far from home, buying cars i built with my own two hands yet still could never afford. i sang that song, dreamt that lie, awoke to the whistle of the coffee brake bell.

my sweat becomes oil. my pistons take your families wherever you want to go—at least i remember when they did. i wuz born in this town now heavy with the ghosts of all our children who could not afford to stay. i wuz never bookish though, content to fix bikes and brake pads, to see my creations go. but my greatest creation also went.

my daughter was bookish enough for the both of us. yet, after 18 years of sweat, i still couldn’t afford to send her to school. it got so i had even to beg for bread—things weren’t supposed to be like this. whole cities built by people creating life washed away by the swath of a pen. so much mightier was the profit than our souls. spirits wasted, frozen cold on the old northern streets where once we bled for what you hastily bought and sold. we believed in our work, our livelihoods, never once thought what we were building could be so disposable.

and we will chase you. I will. chase you into sepulcher nightmares. we won’t let you awaken. and we will make you sit quietly, listen to our stories without interruption, watch exhaustive, poorly edited trailers depicting beautiful children destroyed, pictures of devastation all over the nation you sought to rule. there will be no toll free number, no address where you might send a check.

I’ll begin when the moon is high, work my way into high noon, capture you slowly. you will give us our nuremberg. quite soon you too will wish you could die. We are merciful. We love our children. We will make you sit quietly, listen to our stories without interrupting. We will allow you to keep your wife’s concerned smile close at hand. We will not allow you to reach it. Sit quietly.

Listen.

ISLAM: For Hotties!

2004-06-10T23:42:00.000-04:00

Muslim-Refusenik.com: The official website of Irshad Manji, author of The Trouble with Islam

So I think I want Ishrad Manji to be my new momma. The Feeder needs to get with this one, yo.

For the rest of anyone out there who's tripping on that whole -- hmmm ... so many terrorists, but my gas station attendants seem so friendly! What gives?

Check it out. As a daughter of Islam, sorta (I'm a feline who's down w/ my heritage, after all) I'm always happy when someone breaks down the humanism that ties Muslims together (check out the big 5). However, that humanism -- the love, the giving, the togetherness, the prayer -- seems (and, check out the Reagan-deification to understand the whole Things-Are-Not-Always-What-They-Seem -- DAMN. I WAS GOING TO SEE HOW LONG I COULD GO W/O MENTIONING REAGAN. I guess I picked the wrong week to keep listening to even minor media.) overwhelmed by fundamentalism.

Ah ... check it out folks.

Me? I'm thinking about summering in Jordan.

Like Americans Without an Idol

2004-06-02T01:32:00.000-04:00

Like a night sky, starless (cityscape)
Like A. Sharpton without a perm (viable)
Like a cat in window, blogless (bored stiff)
Like a man without his sperm (el presidente!)

Like a No. 2 pencil, dulled (keep it on point)
Like a messasge-free Dem at dawn (Bring it on!)
Like a gun without a bullet (Bush)
Like a Bush without a lawn (11:2004)

I'm a Cowboy. On a Steel Horse I Ride.

2004-06-02T01:24:00.000-04:00

Ah ... and now I get to one of my favorite little bits of:
(drumroll please)

FUN IRAQ TRAGICOMEDY!
(insert high-pitched, giggly laugh track here)

We've run out of bullets.

Here's a quote:
"Winning a war without bullets is like trying to educate kids without any books. Oh, right, I guess we're doing that too."

Okay ... no first of all, neither I (nor my Feeder, I must say) endorse anyone that we don't go "WE ENDORSE THIS MADNESS" to.

But really ... these freakin' Hawks (pause for licking of drool from mouth-fur) go to all kinds of trouble, waste billions of dollars, bomb the hell out of entire families, wedding parties, villages, ensure that -- oh -- thousands of years worth of priceless artwork and and cultural artifacts are destroyed and/or lost for centuries, send in scads of untrained, improperly armed, unprotected, unshielded weekend warriors to do the job of, well, full time ones ... AND NO ONE TAKES A MINUTE TO STOCK UP ON THE AMMUNITION?

Come on folks. The original GW rowin' up the Delaware had better forethought then that ... and he had to measure powder from a leather bag for every shot he wanted to take!

This is where the insane meets the ridiculous people.

This is where cats and dogs have to take paws (pause? i can never spell that one) and say: hmm ... what's the point of the chase again? Can't we all get along? If we can't ... can I at least get some freakin' bullets for the battle?!

Even Jon Bon Jovi (and yes, later on I'll allow Feeder to bore the hell out of you w/ her story of how she was forced, in her formative teenage years, to spend the night outside of the Michigan Union so that underage baby sister could get tickets. Oh, the shame to her high school rep. -- a story i've long grown bored of) had the sense to cut hair and act when the time came.

Got gun? GET A FREAKIN BULLET!
The Hawks who have the nerve to spend entire lifetimes planning wars should take this one little hint from HAWKERY FOR DUMMIES: if you plan on hittin' it ... you'd better come packin' (generously reprinted in "So You Wanna Be A Dyke Top?" (High Risk publications, 1995). (nod to dinner)

Hissssssss.....

(read on)

Red Cross Rice anyone?

2004-06-02T00:56:00.000-04:00

Turning the Tide: Humanitarian Interventions?

Check out Noam Chomsky's li'l ol' blog ... he has a bit on Somali / Rwanda talktalk on there which is worth a quick read. There's much more in there.

He's so serious ... does he never take a moment to just give the Grey Lady a good ol' piss on? I say he should.

However, serious or not, he can be pretty on point.

Any hey, in deference to The Feeder, anyone who even so much as MENTION'S Somalia (and the ridiculous Operation Restore Hope ... haha! That's like the renaming of Abu Ghraib "Camp Redemption"! (Thanks Randi Rhodes for that tidbit ... you know what i like about those good ol' gals at the Air America ... Laura, Randi, the like ... when you give assignmetns of shit to look up.)

So, here's yours bloggers!

SUBMIT (and click)!
(you know you want to)

2004-06-01T23:55:00.000-04:00

Okay ... gotta give it up to my boy McGrudder. In the (anti-homophobic) name of all who need not see hairy-bootied men in general, and especially in the midst of torture, I say: HERE HERE. So ... let's stop the violence. Vote like you have a brain, will ya?

BRING IT ... to a freakin' halt.

That is all. I got a hairball just thinkin' about it.

Fat Chicks.

2004-06-01T23:26:00.000-04:00

Haha!
I was going to go off on a day-long treatise on obesity in America (largesse begins at home) ... but fuck it.

Size Matters

I mentioned how much I loved (yes, I snuck in on a matinee. i'm small. i'm fuzzy. who's gonna argue?) SuperSize Me. Now you can see why. Click above to check out this gnarly interview w/ Morgan what's-his-face who did the flick.

That Mother Jones ... she sho-nuff was a big ol' woman. And gives a hell of an interview to boot!

(speaking of ... i'm ready for all the puss-in-boots comments now. thank you for giving me a moment to slick my fur back. now, you may begin.)

You Think America's in Bad Shape ... You Should See California!

2004-06-01T23:18:00.000-04:00

American Liberalism's Achilles Heel

American Liberalism's Achilles Heel

Okay, so while my Feeder is putting in 30 million hour shifts at the so-called "office" (read: Abu Times Square), I'm just going to go ahead and log on here from the window sill and break a few things down (with all due thanks and pointy-eared head nods to her (p.s. where's my Friskies?!).

So, she had a lovely weekend (so I observed from afar) hanging w/ the various and sundry lovely doyennes of Aztlan.

First: The North.

A&C came through for a little vacationary trip. She got to hang w/ A & C & L a few times having a lovely dinner, checking out this fantasmagoric Philipino joint in SoHo (go figure). It's right next to the new Toys in Babeland, so if the food don't getcha, the "pinwheel" (figure it out and get one) will. She sometimes neglects to tell me the names of things in her sleep (that's where the best chisme comes from) so you know ... check back.

Hung out in the park on Saturday -- gorgeous -- walked a million blocks through the park, from west side to east side (hail to the Met!) and back. Tried to buy a bike. Failed. Giving big-ups to the neighborhood willie who just may come through with a hookup.

Next: The South.

Sunday, had another hang out in the park day. Full of lovely ladies (Viva la freakin' Raza homes!) and sunshine sunshine. A (a new A), J's friend from L.A. (J has all the best LA friends, in case you were wondering) and she's (a) FINE, (b) sweet as hell, (c) cool and dope and interesting. So they did the whole hang out in the sun thing, then split out to the BK for a fiesta they were too tired & lame to enjoy for long.

Finally, Headed Back Up North like Jim Crow:

Monday, once she realized she'd completely forgotten most of her Spanglish (KWKW-La Mexicana ... donde estan?) she went back to work. Been there ever since.

Actually bucked out for a few ours w/ the Northern Cali ladies ... hung out w/ various & sundry literary folk and had various and sundry literary conversations. However, was a bit ill and couldn't enjoy as much as she wanted. Came home all cranky and pissed at about 3am (after going back to the office like a f'in drone).

For those who haven't heard the ridiculous dramas of the Barbara Boxer / Dianne Feinstein ritual backstabbing of the California electorate ... do a bit of research. Anecdotal evidence makes me cry for my home-cats.

SPECIAL NOTE TO BACK-SLIDING, PSEUDO-LIBERALS: If you're a self-proclaimed, leftist, democrat, black/women/gay-vote-bating, woman running for office in an imaginarily democratic state (medical marijuana meets arnold schwartzenegger, nee reagan ... all in one spot? nuffsaid) ... COME CORRECT! This is the shit that had me clutching at the bars of my pound/prison/guantanemo-mesh walls screeching to aunti-mina: GET ME OUTTA THIS PLACE! (I had yet to me Old Man Winter. harumph.)

So, today. I got to watch the thuderstorms. That actually kinda rocked. They were banging up the sky like my Detroit Home Slices the White Stripes! Like a Seven Nation Army (everyone on the damn UN team except for the U.S. of course -- cuz they like to go it alone) to hold back the rain! Rain on storm clouds!

SPECIAL NOTE TO THE RESIDENTS OF THE JAZZ ON THE PARK HOSTEL: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! AT 3 IN THE MORNING, EVEN *I*, laissez faire tabby extraordinaire am ready for some f'in sleep!

Now, today, despite the construction on Janet's new spot across the way, I enjoyed thunderstorm watching, Ellen re-run viewing, 360 (hey AC/JR/kathleen & tommy!) viewing -- do vote on their polls, I watch. I want you all to agree w/ me -- www.cnn.com/360.

Now ... The Feeder left me this morning w/ her standard so-long "Goodbye Sheeba! Have a great day! I'll be home this evening!" She says this every day upon leaving the house ... like some sort of Bahston Red Sox twitcher. Like if she didn't say it she wouldn't come back. I ain't complainin' though. Once she's gone I fire up the Powerbook and get my fill of the news of the day.

SPECIAL NOTE TO FOFIE: I GOT THOSE FREE TIX TO THE CHAD VS. URUGUAY SOCCER MATCH YOU ASKED FOR!

Some woman (DC ... tsk tsk tsk. The Feeder, while having no love for the District, attempts a fair amount of compassion for those who (For some reason) choose to live there. I have no such loyalties. All those bitches can kiss my furry striped ass. I hate that "town" and all it represents. I hated every minute I lived there. Just thinking about it makes me wanna go piss on her chair or something. So ... Some woman had the nerve to sound surprised at my "acerbic wit" ... like, cat's can't be witty. AND THIS WOMAN'S MET ME! Trippin. I piss on you and your limited understanding of the true gravitas of the feline class. I bite your ankle. I leave you to your lame non-ascerbic cats. This is exactly why civil rights have yet to arrive ... let women be women, let blacks be people, let dykes get a fuckin sex scene ... let cat's be their witty ascerbic selves ... (this blog has been temporarily interrupted for the following public service announcement: the views in this blog are solely Sheeba's and do not represent the feeder.) <-- SHE MADE ME INSERT THAT!

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes. The news of the day.

Didja hear that KERRY is pulling "let america be america again" as a possible new campaign slogan? Check out my fave old gray broad's side on it:
Link

I say yes ... let the bitches revel in poetry again! Langston rules, and poetry keeps me in Fancy Feast and scented litter ... so I ain't hatin.

I actually spent a week-day w/ no Air America. I'm feeling MUSICOLOGY. Prince rocks. Don't let the haters hype you away from the truth.

Of course, I like Guns-n-Roses. So go figure. I'm a f'in bloggin, cursin, spitting out the window screen tabby cat. I can be eccentric.

I also liked the piece about Grey's plays. (look it up you lazy fucks)

Now ... I'm out for now. Maybe I'll share some words of not-so-wisdom later.

Right now, I see a piece of very important paper I have yet to chew up. I'm off the sill.

--Sheeb

(CHECK BACK SOON! and if you punks don't comment soon ... i tell ya what ...)

The Prison Atrocities You Haven't Heard Of ...

2004-06-01T22:27:00.000-04:00

'Homies Were Burning Alive'

AlterNet: 'Homies Were Burning Alive'

This, I must say, is ridiculous. Typical. Of course f'in Giuliani would have some hand in this mess.

Read on Homies ... Read on ...

If you don't love Laura Flanders yet ...

2004-05-27T23:21:00.000-04:00

then you'd better get on board baby!

testing

She's brilliant and awesome. She cooks a mean rack. She cracks me the hell up. She's, like, nice. :-)

Click Here and Listen to her for yourself!

Link

... or Click Here and Buy Her Book!
(then read it ... i feel like i must say this)

Link

... or Click Here and Check her out on Air America (if you don't get it ... stream it!)

Link

Now, don't say you don't know!
(If she's allergic to me, be fair warned, I take at least one of those praises back!)
(nah, all right. i'm kiddin'.)

Deep Stolen Thoughts, by Jack Handy

2004-05-27T23:12:00.000-04:00

Reading through this c-razy midwesterner (oxymoron? methinks yes.) Kevin's blog (Thanks Kev!) I found a bunch of great Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy ('member those?):

Here's a few good ones for you old farts:

That crow seems to be calling my name, thought Caw.

(y'all know I got a Crow thing)

***

When I die, i hope they say of me, Damn (s)he owed me a lot of money.

***

If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

***

I told my nephew I would take him to Disneyland. We got in my car and I took him to a burned out warehouse.
"Oh no!" I said, "Disneyland burned down!"
He cried and cried, but deep down I think he thought it was a pretty good joke.

***

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

***

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

***

Isn't it sad to think that families can be ripped apart by something as simple as wild dogs?

***

If trees could scream, would be be so cavelier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, and for no good reason.

***

If you ever fall off the sears tower go real limp, like a dummy and someone with catch you because, hey, free dummy!

***

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?!"

***

To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

WANT MORE?
Blow through this link!

Link

(you greedy americanus)

Don't get it twisted: Why I Love the NY Times (by Sheeba Baby)

2004-05-27T22:09:00.000-04:00

1,000 pages of cat litter.

it's grey.
it's a GREAT pee catcher.
it keeps the windows clean so i can stay vigilant in my Hawk-watch (Eeeeat the birds ... tuppins a head ... tuppins ... tuppins ... tuppins ... a head!).

Also ... she tends to ignore my pleas for lap-time when she's reading.

Finally, if she's really really busy, I can sneak food off of her plate.

*****

Now, speaking of food, who does a cat have to lick to get them to put Haagen Daz on the f'in Atkins Diet?
It's my FAVORITE!

Free Speech? Not for Poets!

2004-05-27T22:04:00.000-04:00

The Daytona Beach News-Journal: Editorials

Now, the Feeder insists that she read this one already (yawn), but since the Cave Canemers have re-sent it ... I figure, SHUT UP LADY! Perhaps someone else hasn't ...

Read this mess.

The changing face of America indeed ...

Me, I'm going to Egypt. It may be the "Middle East" (so they say, just cuz they're muslims. Whatever.) but they sure know how to show their love for cats there.

--Sheeb

(p.s. I love poetry because it feeds me.)

The Grey Lady Apologizes! (uh, sorta)

2004-05-27T21:58:00.000-04:00

The New York Times: From the Editors: The Times and Iraq

Now, I don't know if my Feeder is gonna retract her ban on a Times subscription, and I can't quite tell her "I told ya so!" (cuz on this one, I was with her) ...

And after all ... it was BURIED deep in the inside pages ... but still.

If even the damn Times knows it was full of shit ... who else wants to hold out?

Come on ... I dare ya ...

(In the borrowed words of KB2: Bush to Iraqi Insurgents: "Please stop bringing it on.")

President Gore's Speech -- 5/27/04

2004-05-27T19:30:00.000-04:00

MoveOn PAC

Ok. Now ... please see voter cuss-out below. I mean ... isn't a good part of the world going: "Why isn't he president again? What happened now? Something about a Supreme Court?"

Of course ... that'd be assuming that people have as long-term a memory as 2000.

phht.

If You Bitches Don't Vote Then I Tell Ya What ... !!

2004-05-27T19:27:00.000-04:00

Rock the Vote - Home

Salon.com | Report: 1 of every 75 U.S. men in prison

2004-05-27T19:26:00.000-04:00

Salon.com News | Report: 1 of every 75 U.S. men in prison

With a due bow to Sheeba's cutie :-)

tsk tsk tsk ... commentary to come

2004-05-27T14:22:00.000-04:00

Bumpin in on Sheeba�s space (cuz she�s chillin at the window winding up her aim for tonight)

So much to write about, right? How about a doggy-style black girl with a big question: What's Behind Her? (hmmm... gee ... )

http://www.boomspeed.com/ljfade/3.jpg

Uh ... wow ...

THE EDITORS! THE EDITORS!
Are ad dollars so few and far between?

1) First of all ... there's that ... then the whole "what's behind brandy" ... well ... VIBE seems to be fuckin' her pretty royally from behind (see mast)

2) The horror is that the ladies at the office seem completely unoffended...

3) I shoulda NEVER gone to college ... this whole "critical thought" thing'll be the death of me one day soon I tellyawhat.

4) I mean, let�s flow for a minute: Caption a) malegazeatwoman (skeetskeetskeet=sexy (perfect segue into �hip hop meets porn� I suppose); Caption b) malegazewishfullyatself (raw&uncut--clearly phallic + HIPHOP meets porn); Cap c) WHAT'S BEHIND BRANDY? (is that an invitation?); Cap d) mobb deep -- recalling the male-gaze-lesbian-fantasy; Cap e) heads up (do i really need to comment? i think not ... but they threw in �groupie� in case you missed the head ref); Cap f) a list of a buncha overtly macho references and a white girl sandwiched inside -- like uh -- can we attempt to enflame the whole black-male-assumed-direct-route-to-testosterone thing a teensy bit more?

Now, I need to say a few things:

A -- It is DAMN HARD (no testes-laden-pun-intended) to offend me (I tend to have a rather offensive sense of humor myself).

B - I�m not even sure I�m offended, just �troubled� ... perhaps it�s the continual crossing of lines these days ... who knows.

C -- One of the many reasons for that may very well be because my brain needs something non-Iraq-related to be troubled about (whew, what a break! Skeet on my brothas!).

D -- Another of the things that�s also got me most is that the basic response from the ladies in the officina is �She looks pretty� (with due flack to whoever needed to tighten her weave) -- dang.

D -- My American-ADD-addled brain may forget this whole thing as soon as I post it (what -- American Idol? (really, just kiddin)) But I look forward to your thoughtful thoughts world. (Sheeba�s due later).

Skeet On!

(p.s. rave on FANGS!)

More Things to Do In Brooklyn When You're Dead ...

2004-05-27T14:00:00.000-04:00

A Treasure from Treasure

1. try crack -- you're the one person in the world who won't become addicted

2. start a relationship with an emotionally distant lover -- you can change him or her

3. committ to doing something you abhor and sign a binding contract

4. think about death incessantly.

5. Open up lots of charge and credit accounts. Purchase many many things. They buy happiness.

7. Have lots of unprotected sex with many different partners.

8. Limit your diet to highly processed, prepackaged or fast food.

9. Eliminate water from your drink menu

10. Offer to do everthing for everyone; even at the cost of sleep. Use pills to try to keep on top of things.

2004-05-27T11:35:00.000-04:00

Here's me when I was young and spry. Man. In those days I'd chase just about anything that moved. These days, I prefer to be chased--and not that fast either.

2004-05-27T11:34:00.000-04:00

Here's me old and evil ... but on the lap of a cutie, as always. Gota love me.

I'm personally ashamed ...

2004-05-27T01:25:00.000-04:00

at the lame shit that woman's posted while i was off napping.
i mean ... greek gods? that's just the kinda shit she gets into when left to her own devices. nonsense.

didja hear the one about major donor publishers getting gubbmint contracts to print the 9/11 commission reports?

If you didn't, it's cuz i just made that up.
Or did I .......

"If anyone has the balls to fire Rumsfeld, I say go ahead."
Tammy Hainzlsperger
Botanist
(Onion)

Also from my 86th favorite rag, here's that girl's OTHER horrorscope (see why she didn't post this?):
Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
Sometimes it feels like true happiness slipped past you in an instant. In reality, it crept by slowly, taking extreme care not to be seen.

"Well I got 'er number! How do you like them apples!"

Posting ...

2004-05-26T23:41:00.000-04:00

I don't know who the fuck that Samiya is to take over my fucking
blogger.
Get your own account you f'in cheapo.

this has been a test.

Hey, you know you really should tip that Rob Breszny

2004-05-26T23:22:00.001-04:00

Mama This Week:

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai wrote that "The soul is a search; the soul is a dance of searches for whatever is lost." Let that be your guiding thought in the coming weeks, Scorpio. The astrological omens suggest that it's high time for you to go looking for a missing treasure. The best way to ensure that you find it is to feed and praise and give free rein to the part of you that you call your soul.

Yeah. High time indeed.
Samiya here ... Sheeba's off puking somewhere (she didn't tell you she was a TOTAL bulemic, did she. mmph.)
So I'm definitely in search of ... not this year, I don't know if I want to say all that right now, but perhaps it's true. Searching. So, perhaps this week I'll do some feeding of my soul.

If anyone out there (you know how you are ... freaks...) has got something to feed my soul, hook a sista up!

Went to the LIberty game tonight. Ironically enough (if ya know me) we played Detroit. Spanked 'em actually. Okay, that's not true. Barely made away w/ our hats, but made away we did.

The girl in front of my seat is a young whipper snapper name of "Maddie" ... like the Liberty mascot dog. Kinda cute really.
She needs a $75 shirt.

John McCain is currently kinda reminding me of my Uncle Ken.
Go ahead ... tell him that. I think it was a compliment. Well, really just a statement of fact. I tend to give compliments face to face. I suppose it was the serious earnestness mixed with that goofy sense of humor we all love. The Daily Show (again) ... repeat (see previous post of Sheeba's)

QUESTION -- WHAT IS "NATURAL MALE ENHANCEMENT"? I mean ... really. All they sell on the tube these days is sex and drugs. And then they blame us for partaking. Nutso if you ask me.

So anyway ... just a note to self: I've notably recommited to a certain search today. Thanks, Rob, for the reminder :-)

I'll put another dime in that tip jar!

Hey, if you wanna join me world, do so here (you get a "personal" thank you!):

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr

and if, after reading about my own certain enlightment, you wanna check for yours, click me baby!

www.realastrology.com

The Village Voice: Features: Paranoid Nation: Lost in America by Kareem Fahim

2004-05-26T23:22:00.000-04:00

The Village Voice: Features: Paranoid Nation: Lost in America by Kareem Fahim

things to do in brooklyn when you're dead.

2004-05-26T23:05:00.000-04:00

oh, wait. if that's your situation then rest assured: you did it already.

nah, i'm kiddin. but i gotta say, if you haven't read Susan Sontag's piece in last weeks' NYTimes Magazine ... yr missin some pretty purrrr-licious commentary.

if you missed it, check it out: http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/23/magazine/23PRISONS.html

Speaking of "if you missed it" ... whatever happened to THE DAILY SHOW? what's up with the week's worth of re-runs.
Let me tell you the deal: samiya comes home from whatever the hell she does all day. i bug her while she pees. i bug her while she takes off her "street drag". I bug her until she feeds me. then i bug her to sit on her lap 68 times until she finally screams at me to stay on the floor -- or gives in. How you like them odds? Me, I can live with 'em.

but ... then what generally happens is, she does whatever she wants so LONG as she turns on The Daily Show (comedy central -- best news ever -- haha) while she does it.

I'm happy. She's happy. The freaks at Comedy Central are happy. One more reminder to pay the cable bill. But now ... I've seen them all before.

I did see this ... crazy Jon Stewart's commencement speech (it's the grand year of the commencement speech, so long as you're not the president's kids I suppose):

Jon Stewart's ('84) Commencement Address

Thank you Mr. President, I had forgotten how crushingly dull these ceremonies are. Thank you.

My best to the choir. I have to say, that song never grows old for me. Whenever I hear that song, it reminds me of nothing.

I am honored to be here, I do have a confession to make before we get going that I should explain very quickly. When I am not on television, this is actually how I dress. I apologize, but theres something very freeing about it. I congratulate the students for being able to walk even a half a mile in this non-breathable fabric in the Williamsburg heat. I am sure the environment that now exists under your robes, are the same conditions that primordial life began on this earth.

I know there were some parents that were concerned about my speech here tonight, and I want to assure you that you will not hear any language that is not common at, say, a dock workers union meeting, or Tourretts convention, or profanity seminar. Rest assured.

I am honored to be here and to receive this honorary doctorate. When I think back to the people that have been in this position before me from Benjamin Franklin to Queen Noor of Jordan, I cant help but wonder what has happened to this place. Seriously, it saddens me. As a person, I am honored to get it; as an alumnus, I have to say I believe we can do better. And I believe we should. But it has always been a dream of mine to receive a doctorate and to know that today, without putting in any effort, I will. Its incredibly gratifying. Thank you. Thats very nice of you, I appreciate it.

Im sure my fellow doctoral graduateswho have spent so long toiling in academia, sinking into debt, sacrificing God knows how many years of what, in truth, is a piece of parchment that in truth has been so devalued by our instant gratification culture as to have been rendered meaninglesswill join in congratulating me. Thank you.

But today isnt about how my presence here devalues this fine institution. It is about you, the graduates. Im honored to be here to congratulate you today. Today is the day you enter into the real world, and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. Its actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things, and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water, those people are not colonial re-enactorsthey are poor. Help them. And in the real world, there is not as much candle lighting. I dont really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting, but I wish it would stop. We only have so much wax, people.

Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and II wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I dont really know to put this, so Ill be blunt. We broke it.

Please dont be mad. I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So, sorry.

I dont know if youve been following the news lately, but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. So I apologize.

But heres the good news. You fix this thing, youre the next greatest generation, people. You do thisand I believe you canyou win this war on terror, and Tom Brokaws kissing your ass from here to Tikrit, let me tell ya. And even if you dont, youre not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and dont give the thumbs up youve outdid us.

We declared war on terror. We declared war on terrorits not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, Im sure well take on that bastard ennui.

But obviously thats the world. What about your lives? What piece of wisdom can I impart to you about my journey that will somehow ease your transition from college back to your parents' basement?

I know some of you are nostalgic today and filled with excitement and perhaps uncertainty at what the future holds. I know six of you are trying to figure out how to make a bong out of your caps. I believe you are members of Psi U. Hey that did work, thank you for the reference.

So I thought Id talk a little bit about my experience here at William and Mary. It was very long ago, and if you had been to William and Mary while I was here and found out that I would be the commencement speaker 20 years later, you would be somewhat surprised, and probably somewhat angry. I came to William and Mary because as a Jewish person I wanted to explore the rich tapestry of Judaica that is Southern Virginia. Imagine my surprise when I realized The Tribe was not what I thought it meant.

In 1980 I was 17 years old. When I moved to Williamsburg, my hall was in the basement of Yates, which combined the cheerfulness of a bomb shelter with the prison-like comfort of the group shower. As a freshman I was quite a catch. Less than five feet tall, yet my head is the same size it is now. Didnt even really look like a head, it looked more like a container for a head. I looked like a Peanuts character. Peanuts characters had terrible acne. But what I lacked in looks I made up for with a repugnant personality.

In 1981 I lost my virginity, only to gain it back again on appeal in 1983. You could say that my one saving grace was academics where I excelled, but I did not.

And yet now I live in the rarified air of celebrity, of mega stardom. My life a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabala center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least thats what my handlers tell me. Im actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.

So I know that the decisions that I made after college worked out. But at the time I didnt know that they would. See college is not necessarily predictive of your future success. And its the kind of thing where the path that I chose obviously wouldnt work for you. For one, youre not very funny.

So how do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? And the honest answer is this. You wont. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.

I was not exceptional here, and am not now. I was mediocre here. And Im not saying aim low. Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just, you know, decide to be president. Youve got to really work hard to try toI was actually referring to my father.

When I left William and Mary I was shell-shocked. Because when youre in college its very clear what you have to do to succeed. And I imagine here everybody knows exactly the number of credits they needed to graduate, where they had to buckle down, which introductory psychology class would pad out the schedule. You knew what you had to do to get to this college and to graduate from it. But the unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. The paths are infinite and the results uncertain. And it can be maddening to those that go here, especially here, because your strength has always been achievement. So if theres any real advice I can give you its this.

College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So dont worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency which I imagine, after going through the program here, is quite strongalthough Im sure downloading illegal filesbut, nah, thats a different story.

Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

And the last thing I want to address is the idea that somehow this new generation is not as prepared for the sacrifice and the tenacity that will be needed in the difficult times ahead. I have not found this generation to be cynical or apathetic or selfish. They are as strong and as decent as any people that I have met. And I will say this, on my way down here I stopped at Bethesda Naval, and when you talk to the young kids that are there that have just been back from Iraq and Afghanistan, you dont have the worry about the future that you hear from so many that are not a part of this generation but judging it from above.

And the other thing.that I will say is, when I spoke earlier about the world being broke, I was somewhat being facetious, because every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly, and life gets better in an instant.

I was in New York on 9-11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down, I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city, Youve got to get back to normal. Weve got to show that things can change and get back to what they were.

And one day I was coming out of my building, and on my stoop, was a man who was crouched over, and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized, he was playing with himself. And thats when I thought, You know what, were gonna be OK.

Thank you. Congratulations. I honor you. Good Night.

http://web.wm.edu/news/index.php?id=3650

So, hey, listen. This lady wants a bike. She's cheap though and doesn't wanna pay more than $200 for it. And it BETTER be dope. hit us up w/ a comment if you've got one in manhattan.

I've much more to say but ... fuck it.
As if you're really listening.
Meow.

My sexy ass pics are due tomorrow.
(if you're lucky)

links ... for today ...

2004-05-26T18:25:00.000-04:00

www.cavecanempoets.org
www.airamericaradio.com
www.petsmart.com
www.expedia.com (get me outta this window!)

I want a Jag-U-ar.
(I like 'em big and black)

addicted to air america

2004-05-26T16:17:00.000-04:00

SHEEBA'S TEST POST ...

i'm really cringing right now. this woman didn't leave the radio on (she never does anymore) and i needed (NEEDED) to hear janeane garofalo's majority report tonight.

i'm gonna piss on her sheets. yes. that's what i'll do.

she'll know tomorrow.
she'll know tomorrow.